Set Me on Fire
by AndiAi
Summary: Reno died and he was left alone, now he is trying his damndest to move on and be happy but memories still seem to haunt him, maybe there is hope in this new guy. Z/C SLASH YAOI LEMON LATER CHAPTERS OOC. R&R (Updated chapters)
1. Introductions

A:N/ Okay so this is an updated version, I didn't change much, just removed a few paragraphs and added one, changed the age, and so on. So I'm back and this story is going to be moving forward.

"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust." That rang through my mind on that cold autumn day. I sat there on the bench awaiting the city bus, just trying to imagine the vigor of his voice, if only one more time. The way that he made me laugh or the way his face would look as he blushed after our first and last kiss. These memories filled me with warmth, but left me with emptiness as the sheer after effect of them. They made my heart ache for the warmth of his touch to my cheek.

"I miss you so much." I whispered to myself. My heart clenched in my chest at the crazy thought of never seeing or talking to him again.

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, you'll put your faith in someone you trust. As my grandmother used to say when my grandfather died. Right now it feels like these last two years have gone down the fucking drain. And my life is probably just as over just as much as his. Cold air rushed over my face and my eyes began prickling. My heart clenched again and my head throbbed. Being sixteen and in love was the best time of my life, and too soon after our young and amazing relationship had begun it ended.

I felt a hand on my back, almost as if somebody were trying to comfort me. I turned to see who it was, but nobody was there. I was truly alone at this very moment. Instead of continuing to sit here in the futility of the world that surrounded me at the moment, I decided to continue and walk the rest of the way to my destination. A walk may help me clear the thoughts. I grabbed my iPod out of my pocket and began to play my music at top level placing an ear bud into my awaiting ear. The music made me remember how we always used to walk up and down the streets holding hands and kissing. We declared our love for each other on the stairwell of the courthouse that I was now passing.

We had our first kiss in the skating rink where we had our second date; I don't think I can ever go to that place again. We shared our Valentine's days in the café on the corner of Twilight and Destiny avenues. I didn't just feel alone, because I knew for a fact that I was alone. He was my only friend, since at least fifth grade. Nobody had every liked me because I was different. People didn't want to hang out with the new kid anyway. But Reno, he was the exception he talked to me on the first day into the new town that I had no idea about.

Our love I guess was supposed to come to an end, or his end of the love. My love right now goes beyond the freshly made grave that was his. His existence was what kept me going on in my life. No not only his existence, but the love that he gave me the love that made me feel like I was something special.

Sighing I shoved my hands into the pockets of my dress pants. This town had so many memories of a love that I could never have back. I curse the cruel fate that brought me to this point.

I miss him so much that my stomach is wringing itself dry from how miserably it's twisting inside of me. My heart used to skip beats during the amazing kisses that we shared, but now it's beating shallowly in my chest. If he were still here we would be cuddled in my bed holding hands, making shapes with the entwined fingers. I miss that, no matter how cheesy it was, it was always amazing to just be with him.

What am I going to do now? I feel like I'm dying. I stopped and looked at the scene in front of me and noticed that I was where I started off in the first place. I knelt and ran my hand over the cool marble that marked where you now lay and closed my eyes. My phone vibrated in my pocket but I ignored it, I was shaking too hard to do much with it anyway.

"I put the pictures of you face down today. I just couldn't bear to look at you, my heart shatters every time I look at them. I had a hard time putting away that one of us holding hands under the park arch. That was always one of my favorites. I buried the one of us kissing in the snow with you. You always loved the way my pale skin was brought out by the snow and your skin in that one." I began to silently cry. That is all I had really done this past month anyway so it didn't bother me.

I miss you…


	2. Change

A:N/ And the update for chappy two! I AM ON A ROLL TONIGHT. I added a 300 words to this and replaced a bunch of things, anway enjoy!

I stared icily at the ceiling above me; it had so many holes in it from pictures I tore down. Photos of him and me together holding hands and kissing, I couldn't stand looking at them anymore. My heart throbs in my chest every time I consider the thought of thinking about him. So I stop thinking about him, I move my thoughts to stupid inconsequential things, like "I wonder what will be on TV tonight" or other things I don't really care about, but are much healthier for me to think about.

_I miss you with everything I have._

I sat up abruptly and bit my lip, how long had it been since… That Day? I was pretty sure it had been a year, a full year that I had wasted away lying in bed and whining over something that I couldn't change. My gaze went to the mirror that sat on my desk and I grimaced standing up laboriously stepping toward the desk, placing my hands on each side when I finally get there glaring into the mirror at the sight before me. A young boy, with a mess of spiky blond hair that he loved, hence his nickname for me _"spike"_. I cringed slightly at the thought, because I heard that name in his voice.

I walk into the bathroom at my fastest pace. I grab my mother's straightener, and turned it on. When it was warm enough I yanked it through my hair quickly and winced lightly when it pulled on my hair. _Note to self: don't be rushed when straightening your hair._ I continued this process for twenty minutes, trial and error proving the most effective ways to deal with it and walked back to my room, gasping at what I saw in the mirror. My reflection was practically a stranger, my usually spiked up hair was now pin straight and framing my face perfectly. My blue eyes shone with sadness that had yet to be banished, a sadness that I should be used to see seeing but wasn't. The sadness was something that felt like it would last forever, but I refused to let it last that long. I didn't want to be the kid that let the loss of his lover let it drive him over the edge; I wasn't going to be that kid.

I went into my room almost at a running speed and grabbed my wallet with over a thousand dollars that I had saved over the last five years, and walked out the door. It was definitely time for a change. I ran down the stairs pausing only to write my mom a quick note as to where I would be then dashed to the garage grabbing the keys that hung next to the door and briskly ran to the car, opening the door and sitting behind the wheel before turning the keys and starting it and smiled as I pressed the button that opened the garage, backing out slowly and then driving off to the mall.

Hours went by and I had multiple bags hanging off my arms as I walked back to my car, looking into the reflection that I cast upon the mirror I grinned at the new blue tips on my hair. I tossed my bags into the back seat and proceeded to drive home slowly, I giggled a little and put one hand up to my lips. Geez it was so foreign to laugh anymore, but this made me feel so giddy I grinned from ear to ear as I drove up my street and glanced at my house, reaching up to press the button to open the garage back up pulling into it slowly and then pressing again to close. I didn't trust anyone enough to leave it open for any period of time, even when I _was_ home.

I reached into my back seat and grabbed my bags, pushing some of them up to my wrists so that there would only have to be one trip into the house. I wrinkled my nose and opened my car door closing it behind me, opening my house door as I heard it slam. I ran up to my room quickly and grabbed a note from mom off the door, no doubt her telling me she was off somewhere and not to get into any trouble. I tossed my bags onto the bed and pulled out a pair of teal skinny jeans and a plain black t-shirt from another ripping my current clothes off and replacing them with the new ones, tossing the old ones into the trash bin I keep in my room, then turning to look at the new look that I had acquired, nodding in approval. My mom was going to throw a fit. But to be honest I didn't care, I liked it. I grabbed my cell phone and called Tifa, I needed to spend time with someone besides the air in my room.

The phone rang a few times before she answered. "Hey Cloud. How are ya?" she said happily, she always answered the phone like that, thanks to caller I.D. it wasn't a surprise to her who called, unless it wasn't registered in her phone, which was a total surprise to her when she bought her first cell phone.

"Hey Tifa, I'm good how about you?" I said unenthusiastically, I was never really enthusiastic anymore so it probably didn't come as much as a surprise to her.

'I'm good, I was actually thinking about calling you today, to see if we could have a sleepover or something." She said with hope in her voice, for the past few months I had been turning down her invitations, profusely making excuses and lying to her, because I was too busy wallowing.

"That sounds like fun, I can be there in an hour, and I'll bring a movie and snacks. Keep a look out for my car, not the spikey hair." I said and hung up.

I grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen writing my still sleeping mother a note. I put it on her bed side stand and went to my room grabbing black skinnies and a grey band tee, along with my new hoodie. I grabbed insidious and a couple bags of popcorn, my toothbrush and my black converse.

Tifa was always my best friend, she had been there since birth, she moved here a month ago after learning of Reno's death. She knew I would need the support and convinced her mom that it would be best for her if she came to the school. Her mother had no problem with it because she had graduated from this school and knew I was going there. I was happy to have her here, but it would be better if it were as simple with Reno.

I walked out the door and got into my car, driving the short distance to Tifa's new home, stopping in front of the pretty blue house I sighed and grabbed my stuff, and opened the car door, closed it and then walked up the porch steps stopping at the door, and knocked. Tifa opened the door almost immediately and gasped at the sight of me.

"What did you do to your hair?" She practically shouted at me. There was also an accusing glare on her face that was directed to my entire style. I could see the scrutiny in her eyes as she sized up my drastic change in style and sighed.

"Dyed and straightened it." I said simply. Not wanting to go into details of my premature midlife crisis. The truth was she was probably going to beat the shit out of me. She had always been protective of me, and I probably just opened myself up to the subjection of more bullies.

"Cloud what's going on? I mean look at you, not that I don't like the blue tips, it looks great with the blonde. But you did this why? To change your looks because Reno admired them." The last part wasn't a question it was a statement. And she made that extra clear.

I frowned dropping my gaze to the floor, and bit my lip. My hair covered my face and she put her hands on my shoulders. "Tifa, I just wanted to feel different, I didn't want to be the same anymore." I said finally looking up to her face, it showed genuine worry.

"Cloud… you are you, you were perfect the way that you were, but I do support you, and will beat down anyone who gives you any problems." She said with a bit of a smirk on her face.

I smiled and the night went on, we watched the movie I brought over, and then we decided to go out to a movie that was in theaters. Once we were there and seated she punched my shoulder to bring me out of my daze. "Cloud that guy up there is undressing you with his eyes." She said and pointed up to the most beautiful guy I had ever seen. His eyes shone under the lighting and they were the most beautiful purple I had ever seen in my life. They were an amethyst mixed with a light violet, and they glimmered.

His hair was spiked in casual disarray, and his face was beautifully sculpted into the face of a god. And all I could do was stare breathlessly at him. My heart was beating in my chest at a rapid pace. Then our eyes met. It was as if gravity had lost its purpose. I felt like I was floating in midair, and then he smiled a beautiful smile and I had to turn away.

He was beautiful, but he can do way better than me.

"Cloud, do you realize who that is?" She asked in an excited whisper. I shook my head slowly and she sighed. "That was Zachary fair. He is the most popular guy in school, the girls chase him, but that doesn't matter to him because he doesn't _want_ girls. Apparently he has moved his attention to you." When she got excited she babbled, and she was babbling.

"Teef, calm yourself." I said laughing. And I got punched in the shoulder for it, hard. "Hey!" I practically screamed at her. My shoulder already felt like it was going to bruise. "I'm not ready anyway." I whispered.

"Yes you are you were practically drooling over him." She said grinning. "And I thought that you were going to be the freak of the school." She said with a mock grin on her face. I frowned and let myself slide down in my seat, patiently waiting for the movie to begin so she would just shut up already. And the movie began without another word.


	3. Invitation

**_A:N/ Well then, here's another updated version to add to the collection. I think I am forming this to be way better than it had originally been! Anyway enjoy!_**

**_My heart is slowing and beating_**

**_To a rhythm that nobody can dance to,_**

**_It's my own steady pace_**

**_And it's almost too slow to count the beats._**

**_My life feels as though it's coming to an end,_**

**_So you might as well set me on fire._**

**~~Set Me on Fire, by, Me! ~~**

And there I was again, staring at the hole filled ceiling, my life seems to revolve around the chunks that I tore out of it. All I can do is staring at them, lately I have been letting him slip my mind, and my mother says that it is good for me to begin to move on. "It's a part of the healing process, love." She says with a sincere smile on her face. I nod making it seem as though I am listening to her, but my mind wanders. I wonder if it is also a part of the healing to go and change myself completely, get a crap load of new friends, and not care about if I live to see the next day or not.

But I always keep those thoughts to myself, in fear mostly, I fear that this will cause her to panic and make her threaten to put me in counseling, again. Though I guess I can't really blame her seeming I went on a shopping spree, got my hair dyed straightened and changed my entire wardrobe all in one day.

"Cloud, Cloud!" Yuffie practically screamed running down the hall, Tifa being dragged along by her wrist with a slightly annoyed look on her face. Yuffie was one of the most hyper active people I had ever met, aside from Rikku, who were ten times worse than Yuffie. They are fraternal twins, which I guess explains a lot. Their facial features are closely aligned, and their eyes are a very striking green color.

Yuffie's hair was a raven color styled in an emo fashion, though her clothes did nothing to represent 'emo'. She normally wore some type of really short, shorts that had suspenders and a midriff shirt that was always a different bright color. Yuffie had to be one of the most amazing people I knew, she accepted me right off the bat, and became very close with Tifa. So I could say that over the period of a week, since we met her at the movies we had all became pretty close friends.

"Yuffie, Yuffie!" I grinned mimicking her excited tone. She grimaced sticking her tongue out at me like a five year old and then grinned. Her smile was one of the most infectious things that a person could ever have, so obviously I couldn't help but grin back.

"Tifa and I are going to have a sleepover, and you will be there too, Cloudy. I invited Rikku and Vanille." She said pausing to take a breath. I cocked my head to the side as if to ask 'Who's Vanille?' "Vanille is my cousin, I wanted you two to meet her, and so I figured this would be a perfect time."

Tifa smirked slightly knowing exactly who Vanille was, or at least knowing she was probably going to be just as, or even more hyper active than Yuffie and Rikku. I sighed and nodded. "I will be over at seven P.M., Sharp." I said reassuringly. I then turned to walk down the hall smiling gently to myself. I wish I knew her when I was with Reno, then I would have had someone else to talk to. I walked into my Junior English class with the small smile still plastered to my face.

"My, my, my, what have we here, the gloom Cloud Strife actually smiling?" I heard a fake gasp and grimaced turning to see who it was, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Zack Fair was in my class, since when? All of the blood rushed out of my face and I slowly turned to face the board again. My heart had actually stopped for a minute in realizing that he had known me before the theater. Or maybe he asked around after the theater to see who I was, but still it's creepy either way.

Mrs. Gainsborough walked into the class with her teacher's edition of our book and sat it on her desk smiling at us. She was one of the few teachers who actually care about their students in this school, so she always had us write a journal about things that were going on so that she could help us when needed. She graded them on whether they were complete or not, it was always a participation grade. And now I had a whole new topic to speak about in today's journal. I pulled out my bright green composition notebook and began to write vigorously about the summer break.

I turned to look behind me and Zack's gaze was on me. Just like at the movies, he grinned when he noticed I had turned to look back at me. I sighed and knew that from today on I would be dreading this class and waiting for it to end. I wrote in the journal quickly letting her know the chain of recent events, and then turned to the page instructed on the board and began reading Romeo and Juliet. To be honest I didn't need to read it because I knew the tragedy by heart. The two forbidden lovers still seeing each other even through all of the stuff they went through. And the ending was purely depressing.

I got so into the story I didn't notice that it was almost time for the class to end. And when the bell rang it took me by complete surprise causing me to knock my papers onto the floor. There were a few giggles at my display so I hurriedly bent down to pick them up rushing out the door, running into another Blond boy.

"I'm so sorry!" I gasped out. The boy turned around flashing a smile.

"It's alright." He said, and then I realized that we looked almost exactly alike. His eyes were the same cerulean my eyes were. It was Tidus Wallace. He was the school's star soccer player. I nodded and began walking away. "Hey! You're Cloud right?" I nodded slowly. "I'm sorry about Reno, I know you two were together for a long time, it must be hard, but I want you to come to a party, my cousin Rikku knows you so I would be happy to get to know you."

"Rikku and Yuffie are your cousins?" I asked stupidly. He nodded. "Okay I'll come." I said, I would have said more but didn't know what else I could possibly say so I just walked away.

I had next period with Yuffie so all I had to do was clarify everything with her anyway. In fact I was to begin tutoring her in math and science soon anyway my two strongpoints in school while she helped me in History her strongpoint. Damn her for being good at remember dates, while I was stuck at being good with calculations and formulas. Oh well I guess she would come in handy for remembering when the town was founded for the project we have to work on.

I feel bad that I had never paid much mind to anybody but Reno now, I mean Reno, he was great and all but nothing beats hanging out with friends without the pressure of the boyfriend girlfriend thing going on. Sometimes I think of him and it's like we only broke up now, the grief is hardly there when I am not alone. But when I am alone, the grief is overwhelming, so I sleep or make arrangements so I'm not alone.

My pace is steady as I continue at a slow pace to my locker, which is right next to my next class. Once I get there I enter the combination and switch out books for the period. Then walk into the most boring class of the day, Mr. Crescent's history class. He was one of the strictest teachers in the school handing detentions for the slightest little things. He was also a stalker; he would practically stare at the male student's asses as they walked by him. And I was always his point of target.

When I go to his class I scurry to the back of the classroom as fast as I can, reserving a seat next to me for Yuffie and Rikku. Rikku was also in this class, so he had his hands full with those two always getting excited over little things.

"Oh, Cloouud….!" Rikku said dragging the OU in my name out for a few seconds.

"Hi Rikku." I said giggling. Today this class was probably going to be very entertaining, I could tell by the sly grin on her face that she had something up her sleeve.

"Guess what!" She said excitedly. "No, never mind; don't guess I'll just tell you. You and I will be going shopping for party clothes tonight for Friday!" she said clapping. Her hair today was in super intricate braids and some of it down on her shoulders. She was wearing a pink t-shirt that said 'OMG!' and black skinny jeans with pink converse.

"Tidus told you already?" I asked kind of confused.

She nodded her head. "Apparently one of his friends has a crush on you, and practically begged him to invite you to the thing." She said as if it were old news. I hoped this 'friend' of his wasn't some lunatic girl, or any girl for that matter, because I'm not very good at rejections. I nodded just as Yuffie walked in the door, sporting her big blue backpack.

"Hi Cloud, Hi Rikku." She said happily. And then class started, though I was distracted by the fact I was going to my very first party since Reno was alive. He always loved to make the scenes and show off his 'Spikey'. God, I miss him so much.

Sometimes I swear I can almost see him, or touch him. But I can't. And realizing that over, and over again is what hurts me all the time.

"Mr. Strife, can you tell me what year the Revolutionary War began, and what document started it?" Mr. Crescent asked me, snapping me out of my daze.

"Well, the Declaration of Independence is the document that began the war for America, and the date was July, 4th 1776." I answered after some thought.

"Very good." And he moved onto his next victim letting me return to my daze.

The rest of the day flew by quickly and before I knew it, I was being dragged through multiple stores and thrown into too many dressing rooms to count, having clothes thrown over the top of the door with an excited squeal every time one of the two twins found something they thought was amazing. In the final store Yuffie giggled and I knew almost immediately that something was up, just from the tone.

"Forget about everything we have just given you, because I just found the perfect outfit, it's so simple that it's genius!" she said with high pitched giggle.

"Make sure you get it in my size though!" I said in mock excitement, I rolled my eyes with a small smirk.

"Geez Cloud, do you not have any faith in us at all?" Both of them said together and I widened my eyes.

"Well I would say so, seeming I let you drag me all over creation to find one outfit." I said sharply, as I walked out of the dressing room, both of them grinned and dragged me to the register.

"This little outfit is out treat, because we want you to knock them dead." Yuffie said smiling. "Oh and this outfit is not optional you have to wear it, otherwise Rikku will hold you down as I force a short black party dress on you." My eyes widened because I knew she meant every word of it.


	4. The Party

A:N/ I am once again on a roll! This chapter was really hard to update, mostly because I had to change so much. The end of this chapter is completely different than it was before, mostly because I felt that the pacing of the story was going wayyyy to fast. Anyway, Heres the update of chapter four, and I hope you enjoy it.

My heart was racing, and my stomach was doing flips inside of me. I was wearing pink skinny jeans and a black t-shirt. Yuffie picked them out, and threatened that if I didn't wear them she would force a black party dress on me. And of course I being a guy, who didn't feel like getting the crap beat out of him, chose the outfit she intended for me to wear.

So I stepped inside finally, and the small thumping of the beat I could barely hear from outside had completely overtaken my ears. It was literally shaking the floor as I walked to Yuffie, who had a black mini dress on. She smiled brightly grabbing my wrist and pulling me into a hug. Vanille and Rikku were there with her and poor Tifa was in the center of them. Tifa was dressed in a green t-shirt with a black skirt, her make-up was light, but Vanille seemed to be trying to thicken it up, and Tifa was about to slug her in the face.

"You look…" Yuffie began with an excited tone.

"FABULOUS!" Rikku finished for her, practically screaming it. Rikku was wearing an orange mini dress with black heels; her hair was put in a ponytail with intricate braids. Vanille was wearing an orange t-shirt with a pink mini skirt, and brown dress like thing flowing from the back. Her pink hair was in two curled up pig tails without the braids. Her green eyes were brightened from the small amount of blue eye shadow she was wearing.

I blushed and nodded toward Rikku thanking her for the compliment. I sat on the couch where they were sitting slightly moving my body to the beat of the music. I closed my eyes and continued to move my hips to the beat nodding my head as well. Someone poked my back making me snap my eyes open and look around. What I found were beautiful amethyst eyes staring into mine.

"Want to dance?" a deep voice asked me, and all I could do was nod. I stood up and was led to the dance area in the living room. I followed his lead dancing to the beat adding my own movements into the steps, his body ground into my mine in an almost erotic manner so I reciprocated. It had been so long since I had even imagined myself dancing, and now I was with a complete and utter stranger, even though I knew his name I had no idea who he was.

When the song ended I stopped dancing and laughed. "Thanks for the dance; it was a lot of fun."

"My pleasure…" He said. And I walked back over to the couch where my friends were sitting, Yuffie of course was bouncing up and down in her seat practically about to burst in excitement.

"Okay Yuffie spill your thoughts before they burst out and you embarrass yourself." I said giggling.

"CLOUD, do you have any idea who that was?" She asked excitedly, and when I nodded she squealed, making me laugh. "Come on Cloud, it's amazing he even talked to you, let alone practically dry humped you." She said still bouncing in her seat. I sighed softly and blushed knowingly, though now I felt like I had cheated on _him_. My heart squeezed slightly in my chest at the thought of the red-haired angel. Now more than ever though I knew it was time to let him go.

I excused myself with the excuse of the need to use the restroom, and made my way through the crowd to the stairs following them up to the first open door. The room was nothing short of what would be called the master bedroom. The bed had to be king size, and there was some type of expensive looking computer on a desk off to the corner of the room. But that was all my brain could really register because it was still jarred from the intense beat of the music down stairs.

I closed the door and slid to the floor, I needed this time to think over what had just happened downstairs with Zack. I'm sure that he didn't even know who I really was or that I was completely broken but still he seemed to be everywhere I went. It turns out his father owns the cinema hence the name Fair Valley Cinema 21. I could guess that he got free movies whenever he wanted due to that fact.

And not to mention that he worked at hot topic, the store that had become my second home. So in a way it felt as though he were stalking me. But to be honest, in a way I knew it was vice versa, he had been there for god knows how much longer before me.

There was a knock at the door so I stood up and opened it. And of course it was Zack, like I said he was stalking me. I sighed. "Zack, what are you doing up here?"

"I needed to get away from the crowd, and in all of the other bedrooms were the serious couples, so I decided on the room without moaning and groaning." He said as if it were an everyday occurrence, which in his world, it probably was. So I did all I really could at the moment, nod and step to the side inviting him in. once he was in I close the door and sat back down in my place on the bed right next to it, turning this time to have my back against the headboard. He took a seat right in front of me flashing a heart stopping smile. I dropped my head and gazed intently at the floor, biting my lip.

"Are you okay?" He asked. My reply was a quick nod with a fake plastered on smile. I had gotten pretty good at faking during my zombie phase, and I knew that if I could convince Tifa that I was okay that I could convince someone that I hardly knew I was. But he didn't look fooled and I frowned. "You know, saying that you are okay, when you clearly aren't isn't good for your mental health, if you aren't okay, don't try to force yourself to be okay.

I spoke up quickly. "I am really okay, I'm just not used to this scene anymore: this is the first party I've been too since well, a year ago." I said, avoiding the name of the person that I went with to the last party I was at.

"Oh, yeah I forgot, I used to see you two together all the time at these things, you two always seemed to be in your own little world. It was sweet to watch the way you two always seemed to move as the other moved." He said smiling gently. "Reno was a great guy, and I am very sorry that you lost him the way you did Cloud." He said with a genuine sincerity, and it made me smile.

"The last party we had gone to was in this house, and we danced to a slow song, after that song something big happened, and well, it's just crazy being here again." I said shaking my head.

"What exactly happened? If you don't mind me asking…" He said with a worried tone. I closed my eyes and stood up biting my lip.

"He proposed to me. We set the date for two months after we graduated." I said sullenly. "Then a week later I was at his funeral." I shook my head and laced my voice with fury. "Life likes to throw you the biggest curveballs, and this one, it wasn't one of the good ones; this one left me lying on the cold hard floor with my heart bleeding."

His eyes widened at my sudden anger. "I honestly don't know what you've been through, I don't know the feeling of losing someone that you love like that so suddenly, especially when you had planned to spend the rest of your life with this person." And I could tell that he meant it, the sincerity in his voice was clear.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip feeling like I could cry at any moment. "It's a hard thing to go through." I said biting my lip harder. "No it's not hard, hard is too easy of a word, it's an excruciating thing to go through."

"I don't doubt that one bit." He said touching my arm. I closed my eyes and subtly moved away from him clenching my eyes tighter shut, holding back the tears that tingled at my eyes.

"I would hope not." I said with a quivering voice. He placed his hand on my shoulder and I didn't bother to move away, I just let him do it, I opened my eyes and the tears that I had been holding back began to fall down my face and I stubbornly wiped them away hoping in vain that if I wiped hard enough that it would be like they were never there in the first place.

"It's okay; it's all going to be okay Cloud." He said pulling me close. I cried for what seemed like hours, but he never broke the hug, he kept his arms wrapped around me until I had finally stopped crying.

After the hug ended he looked into my eyes and I bit my lip wiping away the remainder of the tears. "Thank you Zack." I said with a small voice, it was still quivering and it was hard to talk above a whisper, thanks to all the crying.

He nodded and smiled a bit. "You're welcome." He said staring into my eyes so deeply it was almost as if he was staring into my soul. I blushed and looked down. He took his finger and lifted my chin leaning in and placing his lips against mine. I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck, and he deepened the kiss. At this point I had let go of any self-control I once had, I needed this kiss, and I needed the person that had his arms wrapped around me. He let go of me and I adjusted myself.

"I am so sorry." He said and I shook my head.

"Don't be." I said offering a small smile.

"I have to go." He said and hurried out the door, I didn't wait long to follow behind him, I walked down the stairs slowly and bit my lip as I thought of what had just happened, Zack had kissed me, I had kissed him back. I shook my head lightly and smiled, what a party.

I walked over to my friends all the while still smiling cheekily as I squirmed through the crowd awkwardly, when I finally made my way to them I plopped on the couch that they had made themselves comfortable on, looking at them each of them looked at me like I was crazy.

"Are you drunk or something?" Rikku said in a teasing voice.

"No!" I said defensively and I looked over to see Tifa eyeing me to see if I was telling the truth or not.

"Then why are we all smiles and sighs, hm?" Yuffie said walking over to me poking me in the chest

"None of your business?" I muttered under my breath and looked away from her, then completely froze as I looked at the door. "Reno?" And at the utterance of his name, I knew I had gone completely mad.


	5. First Date

A:N/ Well, heres the updated version of this chapter, I didn't really have to change much in this one, soo, this didn't take long.

A few emotions surged through me the first indescribable anger, because if he was alive how in the hell do you put the person you had supposedly loved for years through the pain of thinking you were dead. The next was the abyss of deadly sadness, because I knew that I must be seeing things, and that I had gone completely insane. Then finally was regret, a regret that was so impenetrable that it made me sick to my stomach. I had just kissed a complete stranger, and if this was karma it hurt me like a thousand knives stabbing me in the chest.

Everyone had heard me say his name and was now looking to the place where he stood, though not seeing anything. Yuffie looked at me, and you could see the worry etched into her face. And I knew for a fact that I had gone crazy, I had a feeling that this wouldn't be the only time I saw him either. Zack had somehow made his way to me and was now staring at me, so I bolted and headed straight for the door – which also lead to my car – because I couldn't take the stares – and accusing looks – of my peers.

"Cloud, wait up will ya!" Yelled the voice that I had only heard in my dreams for a year now but I couldn't even fathom the conversation – or the fact that he was either alive or I was plain out crazy – that would follow if I stopped. In fact I drove a lot faster than what the signs that indicated the speed limit had said. I didn't care at the moment. All I knew was that I had to get away, from anything that reminded me in the slightest of him. So I drove unaware of where I was going, trying to block out the thoughts that had brought me over the edge like this. But when I became aware of more than the fact that I was driving I recognized where I was. I was in the small town where I grew up, the town that I lived in before I had even known him.

I pulled over at the side of the road, right next to the small wooden water tower. I sat in my car trying to think about something other than the fact that my dead boyfriend was here and seemingly alive. I stepped out of the car and into the cool night air, taking as many deep breaths as possible. And just like in the olden days I began to climb the steps of the old wooden tower. When I reached the top I could see the beginning of the sunrise – showing exactly how long I had been behind the wheel and I was sure I would have to get gas now.

"Are you alright?" his voice said from right beside me. And for the first time in three years I actually felt like slapping the shit out of Reno.

I cast an icy glare at him, "NO! I am not okay-" And this was the proof that I was crazy. This was the proof that I needed to be committed. But then I felt the warmth of his hand on mine, the same way I remembered it. And I let the tears roll. "-you aren't real." I said softly standing up looking for the familiar hotel. "So leave me alone." I jumped off the tower which wasn't that tall landing in a crouching position.

A few days later things had begun to get back on its normal track, Zack hadn't spoken to me since the party, and I didn't deserve his forgiveness so I was glad he hadn't. Yuffie had stuck loyally to my side, but she continued to watch me closely as though she thought I would have a psychotic mental breakdown. Or at least start seeing my dead fiancé when he wasn't really there. Everyone that was at the party was eyeing me with very true accusations. I was now the kid that lost their significant other and had been driven mad by it. But I refused to let that get the best of me. I continued my day – and life – with a fake smile plastered on my face, except for the rare moments when I was alone.

Every time I saw Zack I turned the opposite way, determined to avoid him at all costs, because usually it was the popular kid that left the nerdy kid with a confused expression on his face, not vice-versa. But I guess I knew that I would have to eventually face up to him. Which would undoubtedly hurt to no end, because there was a very distinct possibility I was infatuated with him.

"Cloud…"

I sighed and decided to man up. "Zack… I'm sorry for the other night." There was no need to explain the fact that I thought – no KNEW I was crazy.

He shook his head. "What are you sorry for, you've done nothing. I mean the whole Reno thing was a little creepy and all, but everyone has moments where the see or hear something that isn't really there." He said reassuringly.

"Yeah, well most of those people don't do that in public or make a really huge scene of it." I said scrunching my nose up.

"Can't argue with that." He said with a small smirk, reaching out to ruffle my hair lightly, making me smile my first genuine smile in days. "So uh, I was thinking, that maybe we could go out to dinner tonight, my treat?

I grinned and nodded biting my lip. "Sounds fun." I giggled lightly. "What time should I expect you?" I said smirking.

He paused and made a fake thinking face. "Oh I was thinking, uhhhh, around 7:30ish?" He said and I nodded grabbing a piece of paper from my notebook and writing my address down.

"See you then." I giggled, and he surprised me by leaning in to plant a swift peck onto my lips, then hurrying off leaving me to hold my lips in shocked. Yuffie had to be the most excitable girl in the history of the world, because I had never seen a girl pounce on anybody so fast, with a smile as huge as hers demanding details. I told her everything.

After school was over I took a shower and did my homework, checking the time periodically. When it was 5:30 I put my books away and started by straightening my hair, then I pulled on the nicest pair of skinny jeans I had, and a t-shirt that looked like an entire tuxedo on the front. I quickly combed through my hair scowling at the parts that had begun sticking up at the roots, and then gelled them down – a temporary fix.

7:30 came and when the horn honked I was immediately snapped out of my thoughts. I practically ran to the door, stopping to open it and then ran to his motorcycle.

"Are you ready?" He asked excitedly, almost like a little kid. He certainly knew how to express his inner child I chuckled to myself. I nodded and hopped onto it, scrunching my nose in disdain at the helmet he handed me, though I shrugged and put it on. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and we took off. Even as a passenger riding the motorcycle was amazing, and I hoped I would be able to do it again, because the feeling of flying mixed with the feeling of having my arms wrapped around him, it made the most amazing combination that I could ever think of. And for the first time in a few days the grin that was plastered to my face was real.

When we got to the restaurant I gasped, because it was the best one – which minors could go to – in town. He must have liked my reaction because he grabbed my hand with a smile that took my breath away and lead me inside.

Dinner was a blur, a blur of laughs and holding hands under the table like a couple of second graders. And to be honest it was perfect. I wouldn't have had it any other way. I learned a lot about him too. His fears, his favorite colors, and his story. He had been raised here, and he never planned on leaving, except for the four years of college. He wanted to go to Kalm University. Which coincidentally I had already been accepted to, I just got the letter of acceptance last week. Being a junior meant it was time to look for colleges and I had always dreamt of going there. It was the first application I had filled out.

At the end he walked me up to the front door, kissing me tenderly on the lips before I went inside. I went up to my room in a daze, there was a note on the door to my room from my mother.

Cloud,

Have fun on your date! I will see you in the morning.

Love,

Mom

I smiled and took off my clothes leaving only my boxers, then pulled on a really big t-shirt and climbed into my bed. This night was absolutely amazing, and I was so happy that it would be ending on such a positive note. The last thing that crossed my mind before I fell asleep was the thought of actually being with this boy.


	6. Bridge

A:n/ Here's the Redo for chapter 6, this one is completely different, and it's definitely going to be a lot longer, At the same time I write this I have already started on chapter 7 and am about halfway through it. Anyway onto the story.

_Journal entry one._

_Life had been a blur over the last year, I was alive but I wasn't exactly there, now that I am, I feel like I can breathe again. I'm dating again, and testing the waters for the first time since… well yeah. I'm moving on, I'm at least semi-happy. Which is a surprising change of pace for me, I haven't skipped school for at all in the last month since Yuffie, and Rikku came into my life, Tifa has me going out in groups with them, and at least once a week I'm being taken out on a date. I think things are finally coming together and I don't know what else to say about it. I feel like I can finally breathe, that a huge weight has been taken off my chest. Anyway that's all for this, I will see you when I feel the need to write down things again._

_Cloud._

The School day started out like any other, First Period Geometry, the only class in which I had no one to share it with, this class was… both torture and fun, not that the combination of those two are really all that possible. Today was a bit different though, there was a sub and it was so last minute that the teacher didn't have the chance to leave behind a lesson plan, so all we could do was sit there and do nothing as the sub stumbled through whatever he was trying to say. I decided I would pull out my phone and play games to pass the time. I rolled my eyes when someone kicked the back of my seat – again – and continued doing what I was doing. When the bell rang I locked my phone slipped it into my pocked and grabbed my bag, throwing it over my shoulder and started walking to the usual meeting place. There was a small corridor where Yuffie, Tifa, and Rikku met me and walked to our next class together from, seeing we all had it together., Study Hall was one of the best things implemented into this school, it gave you an hour to work on classes work and projects that you might have to be doing in school to give you a head start or the time to catch up.

"Mr. Highwind is sick today, there's a sub that has absolutely no idea what he is doing." I said rolling my eyes. So Yuffie you will have not a thing to do fourth period." I said with a small smirk and she frowned.

"Boring!" she said dragging out the word with her arms crossed with a small pout set to her lips. I rolled my eyes and we kept walking, I ran my fingers over the lockers and bit my lip as we walked. "You know what, how come we don't just skip school tomorrow and go do something well, I don't know, fun?" she said with a small smile as probably multiple ideas came into her head of what all we could do instead of school.

"From what I heard there isn't gonna be much going on anyway, Highwind is going to be out all week because he had to take an emergency flight to see his family in Rocket Town." I said quietly, probably making the idea sound even better to her.

"Then it's settled, tomorrow we all meet at the Dock and we can decide what we do from there!" She said with a small giggle, making me smile a bit. In all honesty this sounded like it was going to be fun as hell, and it wasn't something that I wanted to miss.

"Sounds good!" Rikku said in her usual excited tone.

"Sounds… like a plan." Tifa said with a small smirk on her face.

"Yes, a plan." I said letting a bit of enthusiasm escape with my voice.

When we finally reached the Cafeteria where study hall was held we pulled out the chairs at our normal table and plopped down into them. I pulled out my History book and began working on my project which was due next week, I was already almost done with it, but I wanted to be done as soon as possible, that way I at least wouldn't be rushing through it on the night before, like I had on so many other projects. I looked up and out the window to see the trees all covered in gold and red leaves and smiled.

The teacher began calling the names of the students in the class to be sure that we were all there. When she finally got to me I said "I'm here" and went back to my work simply. When I got to a part that I knew would have to be done at home I packed up my stuff into its folder and pulled out the book I was reading at the time. I turned to the page that I had bookmarked and tuned into where I had left off. I got so engrossed into the story that I didn't even hear the bell ring, it took Rikku waving her hands in my face.

"Hello? Earth to Cloud! Class is over, time to head to English for you Mister!" I shook my head and replaced my bookmark standing up and stretching.

"Oops." I said sheepishly, starting in the direction of where English was, when I got there the bell had already rung and I apologized profusely to Mrs. Gainsborough, then went to the seat which Zack had saved for me, sinking into it with a blush on my face. _Always making a spectacle of yourself Cloud, you need to stop it._

"Hey there Cloudy." Zack said in barely a whisper, I turned to him and smiled with a small secretive wave and snapped my head to attention when Mrs. Gainsborough started speaking for today's lecture.

"Okay guys," she said excitedly "We are starting a new book today and I'm pretty sure you all will like it, but not what comes with it. As you know for every book we read we do a project, this project will be your last and it will count as your final grade." She said almost apologetically. "Now I know we aren't even a quarter of the way through the school year, so this book will be read over the course of the next 3 months. Then the actual project for the book will begin in March. This will be the last project of the year, but not the last book. So be prepared for others." With that she grabbed the stack of books off her desk and began to pass them around. When the copy that would be min came to me I picked it up and examined the cover, _'Macbeth'_, is what the cover read and I smiled. I knew this play, it wasn't really a book at all, and I also knew what the project would most likely be, it would either be a presentation, report, or acting it out in some form or another. "The details of the project will be discussed after we have finished reading." She said as an additive, and I wrinkled my nose. I would have to wait two to three months to see if what I thought was correct.

After class was over my arm was grabbed and I was pulled back into the classroom by none other than Zack. "You and I have plans tonight." He said with a small chuckle.

I played along. "Oh? I wasn't aware of these plans, when did we make them." I teased.

"Just now." He said quickly and I shook my head.

"Alright, what time should I be expecting you?" I asked holding back a giggle.

"As soon as the last bell rings." He said with a smile and I stood on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

"See you then." I said and headed off to Mr. Crescent's class with a wide smile on my face.


	7. Of Showers and Picnics

A:N/ This is… my first real update to the story since May 2012. This is a crazy experience for me to be honest, because I have all this overwhelming inspiration to write for the first time in forever. So anywhere, here is the continuance of the story I stopped writing 2 years ago!

The rest of the school day had gone by like a flash and the next thing I knew I was holding onto Zack's waist on his motorcycle again listening to the roar of the engine as we drove through the town, the buildings blurred past us as he drove toward wherever he was taking us and I smiled. These past few weeks had been pretty fun, we had been on two dates since he took me out to dinner that that. I closed my eyes as I thought about how well everything had been going so far, and how things seemed to be falling into place. Things were upside down for me, for well over a year, and now it seemed that it was flipped back to the way it was supposed to be, at least in the terms of me being happy. I felt the bike come to a stop and opened my eyes slowly to see where we were.

I gasped at the surroundings, because it was honestly beautiful in a cheesy way. He had to have come and set it up beforehand, or someone else did it, there was a blanket spread out with a basket sitting on it, it was under a tree that was naturally decorated in gold green and red, and all the leaves that had fallen looked like they had been placed in a perfect balance that made it look absolutely gorgeous. I couldn't help but giggle a little, just because of how amazing it was. He smiled and took my hand pulling me toward the scene, I followed slowly, taking deliberate steps toward it, still taking in the scene.

"I got out of school a little early." He said with a grin plastered on his face. "I came and set this up before I met with you." He had confirmed my early thoughts and I smiled and nodded.

"It's wonderful." I said in awe, because it was, I couldn't get over just how amazing it really was. I couldn't have imagined anything more beautiful than this, this whole thing was perfect to me. The whole thing was so intricate and wonderful, it was like we were in a scene from a movie and I was loving every moment of it.

A few hours passed, we ate a little, and talked little things, school, and home, among other things. I was really starting to enjoy spending time with him, and I liked him more and more every day, the more we talked the more I liked him. I felt like I could stay here for a long time and just talk to him about anything and everything that we could have possibly talked about.

"Okay" he said with his signature grin "It's time to get out of here, I have to be at work in an hour." He wrinkled his nose lightly and I giggled a bit.

"Thank you for this." I said sincerely. "It was a lot of fun, and the whole thing was just amazing." I said and then yawned realizing how tired I was, I looked up and noticed the sky was now completely black, except for the stars and moon.

He shook his head. "No need to thank me, it was a lot of fun for me too."

I giggled and shook my head. "Come on let's go" I grabbed his arm and pulled him up, grabbing the blanket and basket as we went to the bike. I waited until the basket was secure and he sat down to hop on myself and wrap my arms around his waist. He started it with a loud roar and we were headed to my house to drop me off. I closed my eyes and leaned against him feeling the air run through my hair, and a smile spread uncontrollably across my face, I enjoyed riding on the bike that he called _Fenrir._ It was almost liberating, it felt like you were flying through the streets and almost literally so. We zoomed past many cars and the building blurred as we passed and the wind made the ride that much more intense. When we arrived at my place I stepped of the bike and onto the concrete slowly to make sure I didn't fall and turned to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I will see you tomorrow." I said smiling.

A grin stretched across his face. "See you tomorrow." He said with a small chuckle. "Sleep well."

I nodded. "You too, be safe." I giggled and stepped back, allowing him to drive off standing there until he was out of site, then sprinted into the house and up to my room, climbing into bed and passing out.

The next morning I woke up on top of all my covers and still in my clothes from the previous day. When I stood up I stretched all the bones in my body popping, including my spine, and proceeded to pick my clothes out for the day, and walked to the bathroom for my morning routine. I closed and locked the door behind me and then proceeded to peel of my clothes throwing them into the hamper. I walked over to the tub and turned the water on, running my fingers through it to test the temperature, when it was the perfect temperature for me, I stepped in and pulled the curtain shut, the sound of metal grinding on metal making me shiver a bit, then turned the shower on. I sighed happily when the water hit my bare skin a let it run down my body and relax the muscles where it touched.

I thought of yesterday, school and making plans with my friends, and the picnic afterward, along with the motorcycle ride home. A smile stretched across my face, and an almost alien feeling overpowered me, I was absolutely excited. I grabbed the last clean wash rag off the shelf and ran it under the shower, then put the soap I was using in it. I washed off slowly, and then washed my hair thoroughly and conditioned it. I stood there for a few minutes after I was done, just letting the water run over me and smiled before turning off the water and stepping out, reaching over to the towel shelf I grabbed the biggest fluffiest towel I could find and wrapped it around my waist. I walked over to the mirror and sink and grabbed my clothes heading back to my room.

I walked out of my room about a half hour later, Hair straightened, clothed, and shoes on, next was to brush my teeth. After that I grabbed my phone off the shelf where I had left it the night before to charge, grabbed my bag, slung it over my shoulder and slipped my phone into my pocket before walking quickly to the Garage to get my car, grabbing my keys on the way out the door.

I hopped into my car and hit the garage button, backing out of the drive way, then hit it again before driving off, in the opposite direction of the school.

A:N/ And that's the end of the Seventh chapter, not much is happening right now, but I think the drama should be starting up pretty soon. I just thought a few more chapters before the big stuff started happening would be nice, Besides I like this pacing a little better than it was before, there is no madly in love shit going on its dating and kisses on the cheeks. Anywhoooo, Reviews are more than welcome, and any constructive criticism would be much helpful. Flames will be laughed at. c:


	8. Hiatus

Hiatus.

I apologize, for the sudden, like restart and then stop for this story, but, things came up, and I just can't write this one at the time being, I apologize profusely. –bows head- I promise to restart this, as soon as I have inspiration back in my life for it.

-AndiAi (Andy)


End file.
